For many survivors of abuse, traditional "talk therapy" eventually hits a plateau. You may have spent years articulating what happened to you, deconstructing the abuser's tactics, and understanding your triggers intellectually. Yet, despite this high level of insight, your body remains stuck in the past. When triggered, your heart still races, your throat tightens, and that familiar wave of panic or numbness—the "somatic freeze"—takes over as if the trauma were happening in the present moment. While many understand the neurobiology of trauma bonds, resolving the physical 'anchor' requires a bottom-up approach.

People stay in abusive relationships not due to weakness, but due to a powerful biological phenomenon called a Trauma Bond. This occurs when the brain becomes "addicted" to the dopamine rush of reconciliation following the cortisol spike of abuse, creating a cycle that is as physically difficult to break as a chemical dependency.

In modern life it is very common to become disconnected from the ones around us. When this disconnection is the result of being excluded by others, the effect on our mental health can be very serious. We may have experienced abandonment as children, with ghosts of our experience still haunting us. We may also be (or feel) abandoned as adults by our loved ones, whether that be by friends, family or romantic partners. In any of these cases, it is best to think of abandonment as a type of trauma.

Many people have experienced betrayal in some form or another, but very few think of it as a traumatic event. In fact, when most people hear the word “trauma” they immediately think of war veterans or people who have experienced physical or sexual abuse.

For those of you who may still be on the fence about whether or not your relationship is abusive, however, reflect for a moment on the following (the opposite of an abusive relationship):

When we go through trauma, our brains don’t function like they normally do. We shift into survival mode. Like a deer in the headlights, our brains direct all our mental and physical energy toward dealing with the immediate threat until it’s gone. In normal situations, this state fades over time. Trauma isn't just something we experience after being in a warzone or in a violent situation, we can be traumatized by our relationships.

Whole Wellness Therapy understands that any successful approach to mental health must be holistic to succeed. One of our core techniques is acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which works to radically change our relationship with our emotions. What makes ACT successful for treating many mental health conditions, including trauma, is its use of mindfulness. Yoga itself can be a meditative and mindful practice, as the yogic asanas (postures) and focus on breath work not only allow us to get better in touch with our bodies, but provide an excellent starting place for us to better understand our own minds.